


Pieces

by SummerRain



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drabble Collection, Fluff, Love, M/M, Tattoos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-17
Updated: 2013-06-17
Packaged: 2017-12-15 07:51:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/847102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SummerRain/pseuds/SummerRain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn notices everything about Louis, but Louis doesn't know. Well, maybe he doesn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pieces

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Pieces of you and me](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/23436) by Summer Rain (well it's me). 



> This story came out of nowhere, and I kinda wrote it in the car one morning. I don't usually write on Zouis, but this came really strong and spontaneous and it was about them and I could do nothing to stop it. I hope someone likes it :)

Lately, when Louis is happy, he is happy kind of distractedly, temporarily. Lately, when he smiles with that infectious, hearty smile, _his_ smile, he only does it just for a few seconds. Then it’s like he remembers something, like his soul withdraws that smile like a rubber band; he grimaces and, in an instant, his lips become straight again and his eyes stop sparkling.  
This, to Zayn, is the most painful thing in the world. But he doesn’t know what to do, he panics; so he simply swallows the sorrow silently. Because he’s not the one who makes the others laugh: that’s Louis job, his strong suit, what he does best. Zayn is only capable of mumbling sarcastic comments, and that is not enough to make Louis smile again like he did before.

(He’s not enough, he never was)

 

Louis’ profile, his thin sulky lips, his long and dark eyelashes are so full of beauty that sometimes Zayn feels his hands itch from the desire to take a pencil and fix them on paper, to look at them whenever he wants. He knows it’s not a good idea, that when it comes to Louis everything is dangerous, everything leads to madness, to addiction. And then to lacking and missing.  
He always misses Louis, even when the five of them are squeezed on a couch that’s obviously too small and his soft haunch is pressed against one of Zayn’s bony hips, an arm casually draped on his shoulders, and he is really too aware of the warmth of Louis’ skin against his, in spite of the layers of clothes.  
Those times, Zayn tries to replace the reassuring presence of a pencil in his hand with that of a cigarette, but it’s not enough.  
To inhale that pungent smoke is never enough, when his nostrils are so full of Louis’ scent.

(He smells of sea, of sun, of freedom and of all the things that are not his)

 

The fact is that even the letters of his name slide on the tongue in such a natural fashion, in such a sensual way.  
Louis. Tongue fondling the palate and lingering, then freeing itself lightly in an open “ee” that seems to open an ocean of possibilities.  
Zayn is infinitely grateful to Liam when he comes out with “Lewis” as a joke: it’s simpler, more normal, more rational. Easier to bear. Zayn can even pronounce it without longing to tear up all of Louis’ clothes and say that name, invented specially to be sighed, against the naked and damp side of his neck.

(Or maybe he can't anyways)

 

When Zayn is absentminded or drowsy, his defenses drop a little and he often finds himself wondering how life with Louis would be. He pictures himself at night in bed under a lot of blankets, like he usually likes to sleep, while Louis beside him makes a fuss because he is hot, as usual. He thinks about mornings and tea and coffee on the kitchen counter, about the tons of colors and the all black of their clothes clashing together in the closet, about the blue and brown of their eyes juxtaposed in a picture taken to be sent to friends on Christmas.  
He wonders about how impossible it would be to live with a person that’s so messy and loud and completely lacking of any decency or privacy or respect for someone else’s personal space. And then he thinks how wonderful it would be, and he honestly isn’t able not to smile.

(He has never told anyone, not even Liam)   

 

And maybe it’s true, if that day they hadn’t been chosen to be part of a band they would probably never have met each other. They are too different, he and Louis: they would’ve hated each other from the start and they would have never come close to each other enough to see what Zayn sees now. A chance on a million, but still a chance. Zayn himself hadn’t been able to see and recognize from the beginning the wonder that Louis Tomlinson is. Unkempt hair and Toms and everything in between. Insecurities hidden by sparkling blue eyes. Dread disguised as boldness. Blind loyalty matched with bickering temper. These are all the things that Zayn jealously keeps locked in a corner of his mind, where they don’t hurt. Almost. Maybe someday he will tell him everything.

(Not today)

 

«I promise it will be alright» a blond guy with a crew cut whispers to a dark haired girl on the tv screen and Zayn sees Louis – he always watches Louis, he always _feels_ him – open his eyes wide, paying attention, and nod almost imperceptibly at those words. And it’s just a moment and it’s soon gone and no one of the guys catches it, but Zayn swallows hard and represses the urge to start screaming and rip off his hair. He doesn’t understand the guy in the tv show – he never understood how you can promise someone something you don’t know. It’s stupid and crazy and messed up, because nobody can be absolutely sure. However, he understands Louis, who – in absolute contrast with him – seems simple but is complicated, if you watch closely. He knows that those are his favourite tv show and his favourite character.

(And now Zayn also knows why)

 

When Louis decides to get his first tattoo, he asks Zayn himself to go with him and Zayn’s heart grows so big that for a second he thinks it will explode in thousand of pieces, scattering everywhere. It does not happen, but what happens is that Zayn finds the courage – his legs shake - to actually go with Louis to the parlour. And just when he’s thinking that this probably is the first thing they have in common, that it could be a start, that maybe something in the future will change, Louis takes his hand in his. «Don’t let go», he says with eyes a little shiny.

(And Zayn now knows)

 


End file.
